Rollie Tyler sat in the back of the ambulance and watched Angie Ramirez, the woman he had known for nearly fourteen years, disappear into the darkness of night.  He could still feel the soft kiss that she had placed upon the corner of his mouth.  Watching her leave, he realized that he didn’t really know her, not like he thought he did.

Detective Mira Sanchez came up.  “No sign of Loubar,” she said as she sat beside him. Rollie’s eyes remained upon the spot where Angie had disappeared from view.  “We’re going to drag the lake.”

“She's sure not Manny's little girl anymore,” Rollie said after a moment of silence.

“No, she’s not.”

“Yeah.”

“What now?”

Rollie looked at Mira a moment, then gazed off at nothing.  The detective got up and walked away.

Rollie eyes returned to where he’d last seen Angie.  “Yeah, what now?” he murmured.  He felt so lost and confused, like a huge part of his life--the part that had felt safe and comfortable, the part that he had always counted on--had been turned upside down.  He didn’t know what to think anymore.

After a quick trip to the hospital to get stitched up, Rollie was taken home by a police officer, another one driving behind in the van.  As he walked into the loft, Rollie suddenly felt unbelievably tired.  He trudged slowly up the stairs.  As his eyes turned toward the bed, he froze.  He stood staring at it, the bed in which Angie had made love to a man she thought was him, the bed in which Victor Loubar had raped her, taking away from her something that could never be given back.  Nausea rose inside Rollie.  He ran to the bathroom and just barely made it to the sink.  Retching violently, he stood bowed over the basin, his body trembling.  Once it was over, he sank to the floor, his back against the wall.

“Oh, God, Ange.  What have I done to you?”

The tears came silently at first, then deep sobs welled up, shaking his body.  Rollie wrapped his arms about himself and let them come.  Minutes later, feeling completely drained, he headed back downstairs, a blanket in his arms.  He lay on the couch staring into the darkness for a long time, his mind and body numb.  At last, sleep came.

Rollie threw the blankets, sheets, and pillows over the railing.  They were soon followed by the mattress and box springs.  He then took a screwdriver and hammer to the frame.  Within a few minutes, it had been reduced to pieces, which then joined the rest of the bed on the floor below.  Shortly after that, everything was in a pile outside.  Rollie stalked back into the loft.  A few seconds later, he came out with a gasoline can.  The Aussie poured the gas over the bed, saturating it.  He then lit a match and tossed it onto the pile.  Flames erupted, spreading hungrily over the food offered, consuming it like a ravenous beast.  Rollie stood back and watched the conflagration.  He knew that he was violating several city ordinances, but he didn’t care.  Sending the bed to the dump wasn’t good enough.  He wanted it gone, destroyed.  He stared into the flames, hoping in vain that they would burn away some of the pain inside him.  Lost in thought, he did not see the car that was sitting at the head of Brewery Lane, its engine idling.

Angie watched the scene before her, tears running down her face. She had been up a good part of the night, trying to decide if she had the courage to come to work that morning and face Rollie.  The last thing she had expected to see was this.  It was too much for her.  Backing the car up, she drove away.  She wandered around town aimlessly until finally ending up at the park.  She stayed as far away from the lake as possible.  The memories of what had happened there last night were far too painful.  After walking for a while, she found a quiet area and sat down.  Her thoughts immediately went to Rollie.  She knew that he was hurting.  She also knew that, being the kind of person that he was, he was blaming himself for what happened.  But it hadn’t been his fault.  Yes, Loubar had hurt her only because it would hurt Rollie, but Rollie was not to blame for that.  Victor Loubar was the only one to blame, the only one responsible for what happened.  She just hoped that Rollie would come to realize that.

The police had apparently not found Loubar’s body.  If they had, Mira would have called.  Had he escaped yet again or was his body caught in the garbage that littered the bottom of the lake?  She hoped that it was the latter.  She hoped that one of her bullets had found its mark.  She hated Loubar, not just for what he’d done to her, but also for how he’d hurt Rollie and for how he’d hurt the relationship that she and Rollie had shared all these years.  How could anything ever be the same between them?

Her thoughts went back to that night, the night that Loubar, disguised as Rollie, had seduced her.  Angie’s childhood crush on Rollie had died a very long time ago--or so she had thought.  Yet, when ‘Rollie’ had started kissing her, those long-forgotten feelings had risen anew.  But, this time, it had not been an eleven year old child who was feeling them.  They had been so powerful--and so wonderful.

What about now?  What was she feeling?  She didn’t know.  Her emotions were all in a jumble.  Should she leave?  Should she go someplace and spend some time away from Rollie?  The moment she thought of leaving him alone, she knew that she couldn’t do it, not now, not like that.  He needed her.  She knew that as surely as anything.  And she needed him.  They were in this together, and, together, they would get through it.

Angie stood and headed to her car.  When she got back to the loft, Rollie was gone.  There were no traces left of the burned bed, except for icy puddles of the water that Rollie had used to wash away the ashes.  Angie got to work, determined to make everything appear normal when Rollie got back.  She’d been there close to an hour when he returned.  She looked into his face, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the sad, haunted look in the brown depths, and her throat tightened.  She wanted to run up to him and take him into her arms.  She wanted to hold him, soothe him, show him that everything was going to be all right.  But she didn’t.  Instead, she said, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Rollie said back, his voice low.

Angie’s eyes dropped from his.  She turned back to the computer.  “I decided to get some stuff done for Double-Edged.  Filming starts tomorrow, right?”

There was a pause, then she heard Rollie come up behind her.  “Yeah.  They’ll be starting out with the flying gag.  I’ve got the harnesses all ready.”

Rollie stared at the back of Angie’s head, wishing that she would turn around.  He wanted her to turn around and talk to him, tell him . . . what?  What did he want her to say?  That she forgave him for messing up her life?  He had no right to ask her forgiveness.  Maybe it was better if she didn’t say anything.  Then they could pretend that everything was all right.

The Aussie went to his workstation.  They worked mostly in silence, exchanging only a few words here and there. Every once in a while, when he knew that she wouldn’t notice, Rollie looked over at Angie.  He found himself looking at her in a way that he never had before.  For the first time, he really looked at her, seeing her not as a friend, or a coworker, or even a kid sister, but as a woman.  He’d been aware that she wasn’t a child anymore for a long time now, but he had never thought about it in the way that he should have.  He had never thought about all the things that her being a grown woman meant.  But he was thinking about it now.  And he was noticing things.  He noticed the curve of her cheek, the smoothness of her skin.  He looked at the fullness of her lips and the cute little cleft in her chin.  She was beautiful.  Some part of him had known this for a long time, but he had not wanted to think about it, just as he had not wanted to think about the fact that she was a grown woman.

Rollie sat utterly still, shocked by the truth his own mind had just revealed to him.  Why?  Why had he not wanted to think about or even fully admit to himself that Angie was a beautiful, grown woman?  Because as long as she was still Manny’s little girl, she would never leave him.

Rollie stared down at the piece of equipment in his hands.  Why was he only now realizing this about himself?  Was it because the fear of her leaving was so deep inside him that he hadn’t seen it?  He’d never really consciously thought of Angie going away.  It had always seemed like she would be with him forever.  They were a team.  They would always be a team, right?  He looked at her again.  Maybe they wouldn’t be.  What if she found someone, a man who would marry her and start a family with her?  Angie married?  The Aussie was suddenly shocked by a violent feeling of jealousy as he pictured another man holding her, making love to her, as Victor Loubar had made love to her while wearing Rollie’s face.  That thought brought another one, one that he had pushed to the back of his mind.  Angie had made love to him, to Rollie Tyler.  It had not really been him, but she had thought that it was.  She had willingly given herself to him.  Had she been drinking?  Had it been a moment of lust?  Or had it been . . . love?  Was Angie in love with him?  No, that was impossible.  She’d known him since she was a child.  She couldn’t possibly love him in that way.  No, it had just been a momentary thing, a few hours of passion--a mistake.  He wouldn’t embarrass her by bringing it up again.  He wouldn’t say anything to her about any of it.  He would let her be the first to say something, and, if she didn’t, then it would remain unspoken.

Rollie attempted to focus his attention on what he was doing, but he found his gaze continually drawn back to Angie.  His eyes slid from her face to her neck, then her shoulders, then on down. . . .

‘What the bloody hell are you doing?!’ he yelled at himself. ‘This is Angie.  You don’t look at her like that!’  Turning his chair so that she wouldn’t see the blush that had come to his face, he furiously got back to work.  But, even though he could no longer look at her, he could still see her in his mind.  He could see her smile, her golden hair, her small, yet athletic figure.  What would it be like to. . . .   ‘Hold it right there, Tyler.  Don’t even think of going there.  That’s Angie Ramirez, remember?  That’s Manny’s daughter, the girl you watched grow up.  She’s not supposed to make you feel this way.  You’re not supposed to think about her like this.  So, just stop it right now.’

Angie looked over at Rollie, whose back was now turned toward her.  He hadn’t said a word in at least fifteen minutes.  She could see a lot of tension in his back and shoulders and wondered what he was thinking about.  She wished that he would say something, anything, talk about the weather even.  But he remained silent.  She studied him more closely and noticed that his hands were trembling.  That wasn’t like him.  His hands were usually rock steady, even when under stress.  Even when he was all the way up to his neck in a situation that could kill him, he usually stayed calm and cool.  The only time he didn’t was when there was a strong emotional involvement, like when he’d gone after Loubar.  She’d never seen Rollie as willing to kill as he’d been last night.  He’d had that knife.  Would he have used it?  Would he actually have killed Loubar?  She was glad that it hadn’t come to that.  Rollie was the kind of person that if he ever killed someone like that, he would be torn up with guilt afterwards.

Angie continued to watch Rollie.  He accidentally knocked something off the table, and when he reached to pick it up, he winced.  Guilt washed through Angie.  He was in pain because of her.  She’d shot him.  What if she hadn’t shot to wound, but to kill?

‘I could have killed him last night!’  The sudden thought terrified her.  Thinking of a life without Rollie in it actually made her physically ill.  It made her hurt so badly that she couldn’t stop the tears that sprang to her eyes.  Quickly wiping them away, she kept watching him.  Every once in a while, his profile turned toward her, and she could see how tired and worn out he looked.  But she was afraid to touch him.  She just didn’t know how he would react.  Sighing silently, Angie got back to work.

Rollie was not having much success keeping his mind off Angie.  One minute, he’d be thinking about how lovely and wonderful she was, and the next minute he’d be cursing himself over how much she’d been hurt because of him and that he wished there was some way he could make it not have happened.

The phone rang.  Grateful for the distraction Rollie answered it.

“Hey, Rollie.  How are you doing today?” the friendly, yet concerned voice of Frank Gatti asked.

“Hi, Francis.  When did you get back?”  The detective had been gone with his family on a two-week vacation.

“We got in late last night.  Are you okay, Rollie?”

“Yeah, I’m all right.  I’ve lived through a whole lot worse.”

There was a moment of silence, then, “What about Angie?”

‘He knows,’ Rollie thought.  Of course he knows.  It would all have been in the police report, and once Frank had found out about the trouble last night, he would have gotten the details.  But did he know that Loubar had worn the mask when he raped Angie?  Knowing Mira, she’d probably left that part out.

Rollie met Angie’s eyes.  “She’s doing good.  Would you like to talk to her?”

“Actually, Mira and I were wondering if you’d mind us stopping by a little later.”

“Not at all.  Come on over.  We’re not planning on going anywhere today.”

As Rollie hung up the phone, his eyes returned to Angie.  “They’ll be here in about an hour.  You don’t mind them coming over, do you?”

“No, of course not, just as long as they don’t plan on dragging you into another case.  I’ve had my fill of cops and robbers for quite a while.”  Angie’s tone was light, casual, belying the seriousness of the last time that they’d been dragged into the “cops and robbers” stuff.

“You and me both,” Rollie said, attempting to mimic her tone.  He figured that he must have pulled it off when she smiled slightly, then got back to work.

Rollie was happy when the detectives arrived.  It got his mind off things.  Mira and Francis deliberately kept the conversation away from anything to do with Victor Loubar.  Instead, Frank told them about his vacation.  He and Sarah had taken the girls to Disney World and some of the other attractions in Florida.  Rollie envied Frank his wife and children.  He had a happy, normal family life, someone he could go home to every night and wonderful kids who adored him.  He was lucky, a lot luckier than Rollie was.  The Aussie was surprised at his own thoughts.  He’d always thought that the detective was lucky to have a family like his, but he’d never thought about it like that.  He’d never felt such a sense of loss before, a feeling of something being terribly missing in his life.  But he felt it now.  If he was a woman, he’d chalk it up to the ticking of his biological clock.  Not being able to make that excuse, the Aussie shoved the feelings aside and focused on what Frank was saying.

“Hey, Rollie?  Are you guys really busy today?” the detective asked.

“No, not really.  We will be after today, though.  We’ve got a new project.  Why do you ask?”

“Well, I need to go shopping for a new VCR, and I was hoping that you could come with me and help me get a good one.  The last one didn’t even last a year.”

Rollie studied Frank’s face.  He had a sneaking suspicion that this really didn’t have anything to do with VCR’s.  “Sure, Francis.  When do you want to go?”

“How about now?  I’m actually not back on duty until tomorrow.  We can take your car, then you could drop me off at the station afterwards.”

“Now is fine.”  Rollie turned to Angie.  “Looks like you’ll be doing without me for a while.  You should go on home.  We’re going to be pretty busy starting tomorrow.  You should grab some leisure time while you can.”

“I might do that.  I’ll just finish what I’m doing first.”

Angie watched the two men head out the door.  As she turned back to Mira, she caught the detective giving her a penetrating stare.

“How are you, Angie?  And don’t tell me you’re fine.”

The blonde sighed.  “As well as anyone could be, I guess.  I’m not letting it get to me.”

“Have you and Rollie talked yet?”

“No.  Mira, he knows.  After he found out that Loubar had been at the wrap party, I had to tell him.”

“What was his reaction?”

“He was shocked.  Of course he was.  Our relationship was never like that.  He wanted to talk about it, but Kenny came in, then we had to see about Minister Zhou, then everything started happening so fast.  Afterwards, I just couldn’t talk about it.  I didn’t want to.  I told him that nothing had changed for me.  Mira, I don’t want to lose him.  He’s the only family I have.  If I have to pretend that it never happened, then I will.  I’ll do anything I have to.”

“Angie, you and Rollie can pretend all you want to, but it isn’t going to make this go away.  Sooner or later, you’re going to have to talk about it.  You told him that nothing had changed.  Was that true?”

Angie stared down at her hands.  “No, not really.  I wanted it to be.  I’d even talked myself into believing it could be, that we could just continue being friends and coworkers.   Part of the reason was that I was afraid he’d draw away from me.  But I now know that, no matter what happens--or doesn’t happen--something will always be different, as much as I might try to hide it from him.”  She sighed.   “I don’t want to think about it anymore, Mira.  I’m just so confused.  All I know for sure is that I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize my friendship with Rollie.  He’s my best friend.  He’s all I have.”

“You won’t lose him, Angie.  If there’s anything I’m certain of, it’s that.  He cares too much for you to let this get between you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” the detective replied confidently.

“Go ahead and ask, Francis,” Rollie said.

“Ask what?”

“Come on, Frank.  You and I both know that this search for a VCR is just an excuse.”

“Sorry.  I really do need a new VCR, but . . . you’re right.  I wanted to talk to you.  How are you really doing, Rollie?”

“I’m angry, Frank.  I hate him for what he did to her.  If Angie hadn’t shown up at the lake, I really think that I would have killed him or at least tried to.  When I woke up in Chinatown after Loubar had kept me drugged for those three days, there was a videotaped message waiting for me.  He told me that he wanted me to be alone.  He wanted me to be on the run with no one to turn to.  That’s why he did it.  He wanted to separate Angie and me, hurt her in a way that would make her blame me.  But it was more than that.  He did it to hurt me, too.  He knew that hurting her would hurt me.”  Rollie paused, swallowing painfully.  “I would rather have suffered anything at his hands than have him hurt her.  It’s my fault.  If I hadn’t--”

“Rollie, don’t.  It wasn’t your fault.  Nothing Loubar did is your fault.”

“But, if I hadn’t gotten involved with him in the first place, he’d have no reason to hate me like he does.”

“Rollie, he was the one who started that, not you.  You only did what you had to.  You can’t take responsibility for his actions.”

The Aussie remained silent, staring out the windshield.

“How is Angie coping with everything?” Frank asked after a minute or so.

“She’ll be okay.  She’s strong.  Angie’s a survivor, has been since she was a little girl.  There isn’t anything that could break her.”

“I can think of one thing,” the detective said under his breath.

Rollie glanced at him.  “What did you say?”

“Nothing.  Just talking to myself.”  Frank looked at the Aussie.  Yes, he knew what would break Angie: losing Rollie.  She might be able to handle anything that was done to her, but if she ever lost him, Francis knew that it would destroy her.  He just prayed that it never happened.

“Frank, um . . . how much do you know about all this?” Rollie asked tentatively.

He felt the detective’s eyes on him.  “I read Mira’s report and the reports of the other cops involved.  I know that Victor Loubar posed as you, committed two murders and set you up to take the fall for them and for the Chinese Trade Minister’s assassination.  I know that he posed as you at the wrap party for that movie you did to further your appearance of guilt.  And I know that he. . . .  I know that he raped Angie.”  There was sadness and anger in Frank’s voice when he spoke the last words.

“Do you know how he did it?” Rollie asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Not . . . not the details.  By what Mira said in her report, I figured that Loubar went back to the loft with Angie, and since she thought he was you, he was able to take her by surprise, overpower her before she had a chance to get away.”

A feeling of relief washed over Rollie.  He didn’t know. ‘Thank you, Mira.  We owe you a lot for that one.’

“Rollie, do you . . . know how he did it?”

“Yes.”  He made no attempt to hide the hatred in his voice.

“I am so sorry this happened.  You and Angie are two of my closest friends.  If there is anything that I can do for either of you, anything at all, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thanks, Francis.  I think what Angie and I need the most right now is time to put all this behind us,” the Aussie said.  ‘And time to figure out where we’re going to go from here,’ he added silently.
 

CHAPTER TWO -- WHAT PEOPLE DO FOR LOVE

By the time Rollie got back, Angie was gone, which was good since the new bed would be delivered shortly, and he didn’t want her there when it came.  The new bed he’d gotten was almost identical to the other one, and he hoped that Angie never noticed that it wasn’t the same bed.  He didn’t want her to know how much he had been affected by what happened.  It would only make her more uncomfortable.

After the bed had been delivered and set up, the Aussie just sat on it, staring at nothing.  Without Angie there, it was too quiet.  Funny how he’d never noticed before how quiet and empty the loft seemed when she wasn’t there.  His eyes turned to the phone beside the bed.  He wanted to call her, but he knew that it would be best to give her some time alone.

Sighing, Rollie laid back on the bed.  He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, and every time he did dose off, his sleep had been filled with nightmares about Loubar hurting Angie.  Closing his eyes, the Aussie decided that a nap would do him good.  Within minutes, he was asleep.

Angie sat on her bed, staring out the window.  She was surprised to realize that she felt lonely.  Usually, she enjoyed the time she spent alone, but at that moment she felt like she wanted to be with other people, friends who would help take her mind off what happened.  What she really wanted was to be with Rollie.  Earlier, she hadn’t known if she could face being around him today, but now, all that had changed.

Loubar had victimized her as a twisted kind of revenge against Rollie, doing it while wearing Rollie’s face.  It would only be natural for Angie to want to stay away from the Aussie, someone whose very appearance would be a painful reminder of what happened.  Yet, she didn’t feel that way.  Just the opposite, in fact.  For some reason, she felt closer to Rollie.  Maybe it was because they had both been wounded deeply by what Loubar had done, and they would need each other to completely heal.

Angie couldn’t get out of her mind the image of Rollie burning the bed.  She had known that he was hurting, but it had not been until that moment that she had realized how much.  She looked over at the phone.  Maybe she should call him and find out if he was all right.  But then she thought about how tired he had looked earlier.  Maybe she’d better not disturb him just in case he had decided to take a nap.

Angie sighed.  The sigh turned into a yawn.  Perhaps what she really needed was a nap of her own.

Kicking off her shoes, she curled up on the bed and was asleep a few minutes later.

A figure walked out of the darkness, seeming to be born from the deep shadows.  As he stepped into the light, Rollie saw that it was himself.  The darkness faded away and was replaced by the familiar sight of the loft.  Angie stood by the staircase, smiling at Rollie’s double.  He walked over to her and went into her arms.  They began kissing passionately, their hands running over each other’s bodies.  Rollie’s double then started pushing Angie to the floor.  She resisted, but he continued pushing her down until she was pinned beneath him.  She began to struggle, screaming at him to let her go, but it did no good.  He held her helpless as he started ripping her clothes off, drawing blood with his suddenly long fingernails.  Then his head lifted, and his face changed.  The cold eyes of Victor Loubar turned and looked at Rollie.  Angie cried out to Rollie for help, but he could not reach her.  A laugh of triumph rang out as Loubar reached down and ripped Angie’s heart from her breast.

A scream echoed though the loft.  Rollie’s body jerked upright, his eyes wild and staring.  Gradually, his racing, terror-filled mind slowed with the realization that it had only been a dream.  A convulsive shudder passed through him.  With a trembling hand, the Aussie turned on the light beside his bed.  He lifted his knees up to his chest and sat for long minutes with his face pressed into his hands.  The details of each dream were different, but the end was always the same.  Rollie would watch helplessly as Loubar either raped or killed Angie.  Sometimes, Angie would cry out to him for help; other times, she would just look at him with an accusation burning in her eyes.

Rollie got up and went to the bathroom.  He gulped down a glass of water, then stood bowed over the sink.  The nightmares had plagued him almost continuously last night and were promising to do so again tonight.  The Aussie glanced at his watch and saw that it was almost six.  He wondered if Angie was home or if she had gone out to eat.  He had a sudden overwhelming desire to call her, to hear her voice telling him that she was all right.  Rollie went to the phone and hit the speed dial for her apartment.

A persistent ringing brought Angie up out of the depths of sleep.  As the fog cleared in her mind, she realized that it was the telephone.

“Hello?” she said into the receiver.

“Hi, Ange,” said Rollie’s voice.  “Did . . . did I wake you?”

“Um, yeah, but that’s okay.  I was just taking a nap.”

“I’m sorry.  I’ll let you get back to sleep.  It . . . wasn’t anything important.”

There was a tone in the Aussie’s voice that made Angie sit up.  He sounded upset and a little scared.  “No, it’s all right.  It’s time that I get up anyway,” she told him.  “What were you calling about?”

There was a long moment of silence, and Angie began to wonder if Rollie had hung up, then she heard him take a deep breath.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

“No.”

“Would . . . would you like to go get something?  Wherever you’d like to go is fine with me.”

“Um, sure, Rol.  That would be nice.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up in half an hour, if that’s all right.”

“That’s fine.  I’ll be waiting for you.”  Angie hung up the phone and stared at it for several seconds.  She couldn’t get out of her mind the way he had sounded.  His voice had made Angie think of a little boy who had thought he’d seen a monster under his bed and needed his mother to tell him that it wasn’t going to get him.  Had something happened?  A sudden thought chilled Angie.  What if Loubar had come back and threatened Rollie in some way?  No, that couldn’t be it.  Rollie wouldn’t be asking her to go to dinner if something like that had happened.

Angie washed her face, changed, and started putting on her makeup.  She was almost through when she realized that she was being a lot more precise with the application of her makeup than she usually was when it was just going to be Rollie that she was with.  She had never felt the need to pay extra attention to her appearance for Rollie’s benefit.  They had known each other for so long and had seen each other at their best and worst.  She had always felt comfortable being just herself around him.

The blonde looked down at what she had put on and realized that it was a lot nicer than what would really be necessary, especially since they would probably just be going to a diner, fast food place, or pizza parlor.  Well, it was too late to change now.

Angie finished her makeup, brushed her hair, then, grabbing her coat, went down to wait for Rollie at the front door.  He pulled up about two minutes later.  He got out of the car just as she walked out of the building.  Their eyes met, then Rollie smiled hesitantly and came the rest of the way around the car.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, yourself.  So, where are we going to go?”

“Like I said, wherever you want to.”

Angie shook her head.  “It doesn’t matter to me.  You pick.”

“Okay.”  Rollie opened the passenger side door for her, then went back around the car and got in.

Angie studied Rollie’s profile as they drove.  She could not see him well now that they were in the dark, but whenever they went through a lighted area, she noticed that he looked tense and even more tired than he had when she’d seen him earlier.  He obviously hadn’t gotten any rest.

“Are you okay, Rol?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You look tired.  Didn’t you sleep well last night?”

There was a brief pause before the Aussie answered her.  “My arm kept me up part of the night.”

She knew immediately that there was more to it than that.  He was hiding something from her.  She was tempted to demand that he tell her what it was, but decided that she didn’t want to force him.

For a moment, she wished that they could just talk and get it over with.  Maybe it would be better that way.  But then, her fear over what that talk might lead to rose in her, and she decided that she didn’t want to go there, not yet.

Rollie glanced over at Angie, who was looking out the side window.  Her reflection in the glass looked troubled, distracted.

“Are you doing okay, Ange?” he asked softly.

She turned to him, her eyes running over his face.  “Yeah, I’m okay, Rol.”

“You know that if you want to talk about anything, I’m right here.”

Angie gave his hand a squeeze.  “I know you are.  Thank you.”  She held his hand for a moment longer, then returned her attention to gazing out at the city.  ‘He gave you an opening, Angie.  Why didn’t you take it?’ she asked herself.  ‘Because I’m a coward,’ she replied.

Rollie attempted to focus his mind on his driving, trying to ignore how the touch of Angie’s hand had made him feel.  It had felt good, that simple touch.  He had wanted her hand to stay there.  ‘You’re just happy that she still feels comfortable touching you after what Loubar did to her, that’s all,’ he told himself.  ‘You’re lucky that she doesn’t hate the sight of you.’

Angie was surprised when Rollie pulled into the parking lot of one of the nicer restaurants in town.  The place wasn’t fancy, but it was a lot more than she had expected.  The Aussie parked the car, then looked at her.

“Is this all right?”

“Uh, yeah.  This is nice.”  She smiled.  “I was expecting Barney’s Burritos or something like that.”

Rollie returned the smile.  “Well, if you really have your heart set on a Super Colossal Tostada, it’s just a few blocks away.”

“No thanks.  I’d much prefer a super colossal steak.”

“Then I guess we came to the right place.”

They had to wait a few minutes for an available table.  Rollie remained silent throughout the wait, clearly deep in thought.  Once they had been seated, they ordered something to drink, then lapsed back into silence.

Staring down at the menu, Rollie finally said, “Angie, I’ve been thinking that the gags we’re going to be doing these next few days are pretty straightforward.  I could handle them on my own if you’d like to go away for a while.”

“I don’t need to go away, Rol.  I’m fine.  Really.”

Still not looking at her, Rollie said, “I just thought that you’d like to get away from . . . from things.”

Angie stared at Rollie, wishing that she could look into his eyes.  She could have sworn that he was going to say “from me,” that he thought she’d like to get away from him.  How could he think that?

“Rollie, there is nothing that I need to get away from, nothing at all,” she said firmly.

The Aussie finally met her gaze.  She thought she saw a flicker of pain in his eyes.  Just then, though, the waitress came to take their order.  When Angie looked at Rollie again after ordering, his expression was neutral.

“I’ve been thinking about the bridge gag,” she said in an attempt to make conversation.  “If we augment it with CGI, I think that it will add more of a surreal effect, like it’s being fragmented into pieces, rather than just falling apart.”

“Sounds good,” Rollie replied without a lot of enthusiasm.  “Angie, do you mind if we don’t talk about work?  It would be nice to talk about something else for a change.”

Angie’s eyebrows rose.  “Uh, sure, Rol.  We can talk about anything you like.”  He really was acting strange tonight.  A horrible thought flooded her brain.  The last time Rollie had acted strangely, it had turned out not to be Rollie at all.  What if this wasn’t Rollie?  What if the real Rollie Tyler was a prisoner somewhere?

Not even realizing what she was doing, Angie drew away from the man sitting across from her.  Her muscles tensed with fear.  He noticed immediately, and a frown puckered his brow.

“What’s wrong, Angie?”

“I. . . .  Are you really. . . .”  Angie stopped, afraid to ask the question.

“Really what?”  He studied the look on her face.  Then, all at once, his eyes widened, and the color drained out of his face.  “You think I’m him,” he whispered.  A look came into his eyes, like that of a mortally wounded animal.  Without another word, he got up and quickly left.

Realizing that she’d made a horrible mistake, Angie grabbed her coat and went after him.  Outside, she looked around for him and saw him walking hurriedly across the parking lot in the opposite direction from his car.  She broke into a run.  Catching up to him, she grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him.

“Rollie, I’m sorry.  I am so sorry.  I was being stupid.  I had no reason to think what I did.”

“Yes, you did, Angie.  How could you not wonder that after the way he fooled you before?”  Rollie’s voice was raw with pain.  “How will you ever be able to trust me now when some part of you will always wonder if it’s really me?  You should go away, as far away from me as you can get, and never come back.”

“Rollie, don’t say that!  I don’t want to go away.  I want to stay here with you.  You’ve always told me that we’re a team.  I don’t want that to change now.”  She grabbed hold of his hands.  “Nothing has changed, Rol.  We’re still a team.”

Rollie looked deeply into her eyes, then suddenly pulled her into his arms.  The move took her totally by surprise, making her stiffen against him.  But then, she felt the tiny tremors that were running through his body.  She could feel his need to hold her, to assure himself that she wasn’t going anywhere.  Sighing, Angie relaxed against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his chest.  She took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of him.  He smelled good.  He felt good.  She wished that they could just keep on holding each other forever.

Rollie held Angie tightly, never wanting to let her go.  She felt so small in his arms, yet so strong.  It felt good to hold her like that.  But then the little monitor voice in his mind reminded him that this was Angie and it was time to let her go.  He drew away and looked down at her.  Just then, he realized that he wasn’t wearing his coat.  A shiver passed through him.

“Come on, Rol.  Let’s get you back inside before you catch pneumonia,” Angie said.

The food came just as they were sitting down.  They ate in silence for several minutes.  It was Angie who finally spoke.

“Did I tell you that Luce called last week?”  Angie knew that she had, but it had been the wrong Rollie that she’d told.  He didn’t need to know that, though.

“Really?  So, what’s Lucinda up to now?”

“She got a starring role in a movie.  They start filming next week.  The actress that they originally cast suddenly backed out of the picture, and Luce was in the right place at the right time when it happened.”

“That’s great.  Where is it being filmed?”

“Mostly in L.A. and the burbs.  She’ll be doing some location shooting in Nevada.  It’s a murder mystery.”  Angie smiled.  “Luce said that she gets to play a very emotional death scene.  She went on and on about it.”

Rollie grinned.  “I bet she did.  She always did love the melodramatic stuff.”

They spent the rest of the evening talking about pleasant things, things that they very seldom ever talked about.  By the end of the evening, they were both feeling more relaxed.

Rollie found himself thinking that it would be nice to go out to dinner with Angie more often, that it would be nice for them to spend more time together that had nothing to do with work or a police case.  Every now and then, he thought about the fact that he and Angie didn’t hang out together as much as they used to a long time ago.  When Angie had been a kid, she and Rollie had done a lot together, going to movies, skating, and other fun things.  Even as she got older, they had still spent a lot of fun times together, though not as often.  But, after Angie went to college, that started to change.  In the first few weeks after Manny was killed, he and Angie had been almost inseparable.  She had even stayed with him in his apartment for a while because she didn’t want to be alone at the loft.  But then she had suddenly made the decision to go to NYU that year instead of waiting until next year, like she had originally decided after her father’s death.  As the months passed, Angie had spent more of her free time with her college friends and less with him, though she did eventually start to work with him after school and on the weekends whenever he needed her help on a movie project.  Their times of just having fun together became few and far in between.  That had changed a little when she graduated and started working with him full time, but not a lot.  Oh, they did things together on occasion, going out for a drink with friends or to a movie, and, sometimes, when they were filming in another state or country, they’d go sightseeing together.  But they didn’t really hang out, not like before, and they hadn’t gone on a vacation together in a very, very long time.  Rollie had always figured that it had to do with the fact that they already spent so much time together while working.  But some small part of him had still wondered about it.  That part of him was now wondering even more.

“You’ve gotten awfully quiet all of a sudden,” Angie commented.  “Are you getting tired?  Maybe you should go home and go to bed.”

“No, it’s not that.  I was just thinking.”  Rollie studied her face, trying to decide if he should ask her the question that was on his mind.  If he was ever going to ask it, it would have to be now.  “Ange, I. . . .  There’s something that I want to ask you.”

Angie stiffened.  Oh no.  Was he going to ask her about what happened with her and Loubar?  If he did, what was she going to say?  Angie was tempted to stop him from asking any of the dreaded questions and just tell him that she didn’t want to talk about it.  She gave a silent sigh, deciding that would just make things worse.

Rollie cleared his throat.  “Um . . . when you decided to go to NYU right away instead of waiting another year, you never told me why.  And, after that, you . . . well, we stopped spending a lot of time together like we used to.  I always wondered if . . . if it had to do with the fact that Manny turned the business over to me in his will.”  He shifted in his seat, not looking at her.

Angie stared at Rollie in surprise, wondering why he was suddenly bringing this up.  Then it dawned on her what he seemed to be suggesting.  “Rollie, what are you asking?”

The Aussie shrugged.  “I thought that maybe you resented that your dad turned everything over to me instead of you.  I know you said that it was okay, but I still wondered.”

“Rollie, no.  I never resented you for that.  I was glad that he did.  I wouldn’t have been ready to take over the business.  At that point, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to do F/X anymore.  Besides, I knew that Dad wanted me to go to college before I made up my mind about what career I was going to choose.  And I also knew that if I had decided that I wanted to take over the business after college, you would give it to me.   I think Dad knew that, too.”

“Why didn’t you want it after you got out of school?  Why did you just come into the business as my assistant?”

“There were several reasons.  One was that, by then, you had already made a name for yourself.  People recognized the name of Tyler F/X.  Even when you were working with Dad, people had come to know your name and your reputation.  Another reason was that I had decided that I didn’t want to be the boss.  I loved F/X, but not as much as Dad did, and not as much as you did.  And that is the third reason why.  This work is your life, Rollie.  Even then, it was.  I could see that and so could Dad.”  Angie searched the Aussie’s eyes.  “I never told you this, but a few days before Dad died, he told me that he was going to make you a full partner.  He was going to change the name of the company to Ramirez & Tyler F/X.”

Rollie’s eyes widened.  “He was?”

Angie nodded.  “He told me that it was something he should have done a long time ago.  I should have told you this years ago.”

Rollie’s gaze drifted off to some distant point beyond her for several seconds.  When his eyes returned to hers, there was another question in them.  “Have you ever regretted coming to work with me?  Have you ever wished that you’d done something else with your life?”

Angie studied Rollie, wondering if this question was more than it seemed.  Was he asking if Angie regretted being a part of Rollie’s life because of what Loubar did?  “No, Rol, I never regretted that decision.  Never.  Though I can’t say that I’ve enjoyed every minute of them, I wouldn’t trade these years for anything.  This work is just as important to me now as it is to you.”  ‘And there isn’t anyone else in the world that I’d rather work with than you,’ she added silently.

Rollie looked deeply into her eyes for a long time, then a soft smile came to his lips.  “Thanks, Ange.”

On the drive back to her apartment, Angie began to wonder again why Rollie had brought up something that had happened so long ago.  Why now?  And why was he suddenly wondering why they didn’t spend a lot of their leisure time together?  She could tell he was wondering that by the first comment he’d made and by other things that he’d said and asked throughout the evening.

Angie thought back to the day she had decided to go to college right away instead of waiting.  She had done it because she had felt like she was losing herself in her grief over her father’s death, and being involved in the work that had ultimately killed him had been a fresh reminder every day that she would never see him again.  It had taken several months after she started school before she finally began helping Rollie again with the business.  By then, she had gotten immersed in college life and had made a lot of new friends.  Rollie, in the meantime, had become totally absorbed in the business.  She had never consciously chosen to stop spending the lion’s share of her free time with him.  It was just something that had gradually happened.  There had been times, though, when she thought about the things they used to do together before her father’s death, but she had always assumed that Rollie liked things the way they were now.  Maybe she had been wrong.  Maybe it was time to change things back to the way they had been years ago.  Angie smiled slightly, deciding that she liked the idea of spending more time like tonight with Rollie.

As they parked in front of her apartment building, Angie made a decision.  “Um, Rollie?  I was invited to go to a party on Friday.  Would you like to go with me?”

The Aussie looked at her in surprise.  “Uh, sure, Ange.  That would be nice.”

“Are you sure?  I mean, there won’t be anyone there that you know very well, though you have met a few of them.”

“I know you, and you’ll be there,” he replied softly.

“Then it’s a date,” Angie said with a smile, then blushed when she realized what she had said.  A date?  Why on Earth had she put it that way?  It wasn’t a date.  She was just going to a party with a friend.

A full-blown grin spread across Rollie’s face.  “So, how should I dress for this ‘date’?” he asked, his eyes twinkling.

“It isn’t fancy.  Just dress casually.”  She quickly got out of the car before Rollie could tease her more about her slip of the tongue.  “What time tomorrow?”

“We’re supposed to be at the studio by 8 a.m.  I’ll get everything in the truck tonight.”

“I’ll be at the loft around 7:30 then.  Don’t stay up half the night working, Rol.  You need some sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Rollie drove all the way home with a smile on his face.  He hadn’t lost Angie.  Things were going to be all right between them, maybe better than all right.  Angie inviting him to that party had been a surprise, but it had also been the nicest thing that had happened in quite a while.  He couldn’t remember the last time that she had invited him to go with her to a party.  Should he get her something?  A piece of jewelry to wear at the party?  No, that might be a bit too much.  It was just a party with some of her friends, and a casual one at that.

“Blue, lights!” Rollie called as he walked into the loft.  “Play phone messages, Blue, then bring up the e-mail.”  He stripped off his coat as he listened to the phone messages.  One was from an actress he had dated briefly a few years ago.  She was in town and wanted to know if he’d like to get together.  Rollie made a mental note to call her and tell her that he was too busy.  He then began to read his e-mail.  He paused when he realized that one of the messages had a large file attached to it.  Rollie stared at the e-mail, wondering what he should do.  He did not recognize the name of the sender.  There was a chance that the file was some kind of advanced virus, but the size of it made him doubt that.  The prudent thing to do would be to just leave it and let Angie take a look at it tomorrow, but he was curious, and he was puzzled by the e-mail message that was with the file.  It read, “Are you still thinking of me?”  Who had sent this?

Rollie opened the file.  For several minutes, the monitor screen said, “Processing,” then it went blank.  After a few seconds, a face appeared--and Rollie’s blood went cold.

“Hello, Tyler,” Victor Loubar said.  “I know that it’s you and not sweet little Angela who is watching this because part of the program I downloaded tapped into your security system and confirmed that you are the one there.  If anyone else had attempted to access this message, it would have been erased.  I truly do not expect you to ever see this message, since you are most likely on the run from the police now or in jail, but I have recorded it just in case.  If you are seeing it, then that means that you have somehow foiled my plans again since this message was programmed to be sent to you the day after I assassinated Minister Zhou, framing you for his death.  I don’t know how you managed to do it this time, but, in the end, it will make no difference.  I will be the winner.  I will show you that you are no match for me.  In the meantime, I’ve left you a little present.  I figured that Angela deleted this as soon as she was able to, but I really wanted you to see it.  Enjoy it, and think of me often.”

Loubar’s image faded and was replaced by a view of the loft.  Rollie watched as he and Angie came in.  But it wasn’t really him.  He knew that immediately.  It was Loubar.

Rollie stared at the screen as Loubar, pretending to be him, brandished a bronzed toilet plunger like it was a sword.  He then watched as the man with his face convinced Angie to stay and have a drink.  A couple of minutes later, Rollie’s doppelganger said, “Come give us a hug,” claiming that he was feeling sentimental, and Angie went into his arms.

“Oh, God,” Rollie whispered.  He knew what was coming next.  He knew that he should stop the playback, but he couldn’t.  He couldn’t stop himself from watching.  And so he sat there, his breathing growing erratic, and looked on as Loubar seduced Angie while wearing the Aussie’s face.  When they began to kiss, Rollie felt bile come up in his throat.  When Loubar lowered Angie to the floor, the Aussie felt like he was going to throw up.  But then, something strange happened.  Though he knew that the man on the screen wasn’t him, some part of his brain was still seeing himself making love to Angie.  As the Rollie in the video led Angie up the stairs, the real Rollie kept watching.  As Loubar/Rollie gently removed Angie’s clothes, kissing and caressing her as he did, Rollie sat transfixed.  But then, when Loubar began to remove Angie’s bra, Rollie’s mind suddenly screamed at him.  ‘No!  Stop, stop, stop!’

“Blue!  Stop the playback!” he cried.

Bluey whined and barked, but the playback continued.  Rollie ripped his eyes away from the screen.  “Bluey, stop the playback now!” he yelled, nearly screaming.  Still, the scene played.  “Oh God, oh God.”  Loubar must have bypassed the electronic dog’s systems and made it impossible for the robot to turn off the recording.  As the playback continued, Rollie tried to turn it off manually, but nothing he did worked, not even the power switch on the computer.  In desperation, he disconnected the monitor from the computer.  The picture went blank, but the sound remained, the sound of two people making passionate love.  Almost sobbing, Rollie got down on his hands and knees and ripped out of the socket the electrical cord for the power unit that the computer system was plugged into.  The sound over the speakers continued, punctuated by a repetitive warning beep as the power backup for the unit kicked in.  His hands shaking, Rollie savagely hit the switch, turning the unit off.  Blessed silence descended.

Rollie sat on the floor, taking in deep gulps of air.  When he had finally stopped shaking, he looked up at the computer.  If he reconnected the power, would the recording resume playing?  He couldn’t leave everything unplugged.  Angie would know that something was wrong, and, above all else, she must not find out that he had seen the recording.  He would have to let it run its course.

Rollie plugged the power unit back in, then turned it on.  The computer immediately started rebooting.  After it had finished, the recording resumed.  Rollie reached for the speakers and unplugged them, something he would have done before if he’d had his wits about him.  Again, there was silence.

For the next hour, Rollie frantically loaded the van with the equipment they would need for the next day’s shoot, trying to keep his mind off what was playing on his computer and what he had seen of it.  Finally, he walked back to the computer.  He stared at it for several minutes before cautiously plugging the speakers back in.  No sound came out of them.  Rollie then reconnected the monitor.  The picture that came up showed Angie asleep in the bed, her naked body draped with a sheet.  Loubar, still wearing Rollie’s face, was laying beside her.  He stayed there, looking at her for a couple of minutes, then he got up and approached the camera.  He looked right into the lens--and smiled.  A feeling of revulsion filled Rollie at that smile.  Though it had been on a face that looked like his, the smile had been that cold, smug, taunting smile that was Loubar’s alone.  The look in the man’s eyes sent a chill through the Aussie.  They were the eyes of a sociopath.  There was no morality in those eyes, no spark of conscience or remorse.  There was only an ice cold satisfaction.

Loubar moved out of the camera’s view, and a minute later, the screen went blank.  It was almost immediately filled by another scene that appeared to be of the following morning.  Loubar was sitting at the computer Rollie was standing in front of now.  He was sipping on a cup of coffee and watching something on the monitor.  After a few minutes, Angie came downstairs wearing Rollie’s robe.  She approached Loubar and hesitantly asked him how he felt.  He told her that he felt great, then asked how she felt.  Smiling, Angie said that she felt great, too.  They kissed and hugged.  Rollie was shocked to see that Angie looked happy.  She didn’t look at all like she regretted what had happened.  What did that mean?

His train of thought was interrupted by Angie’s voice on the recording.  She had seen what was playing on the computer and had cried, “What’s this?!  What are you doing?!” a tone of hurt, disbelief, and outrage in her voice.  Loubar replied, “Admiring my technique.”

Suddenly, Rollie knew what it was that Loubar had been watching.  It had been a playback of the recording he’d made of their lovemaking.  The thought of how much Angie must have been hurting at that moment, thinking that Rollie had betrayed her like that, made tears come to the Aussie’s eyes.

“God, Angie.  I would never do that to you.  You must have known that.  You must have.”  But Angie hadn’t known.  As Loubar put his coat on and walked toward the door, Angie went after him, calling Rollie’s name.  She grabbed Loubar’s arm.  Suddenly, Loubar spun around and struck her across the face.  Angie fell.  The sight made Rollie want to climb into the computer screen and beat Loubar to death.  Clearly shocked, Angie stared up at Loubar.  Rollie couldn’t see the man because the palm tree by the door was blocking the view, but he could hear him, and the voice was no longer Rollie’s.  It was Loubar’s own voice.

“Think of me,” he said, pausing, “every time you look at Tyler.”  He then left.  Angie sat on the floor, crying, her anguish breaking Rollie’s heart.

The recording stopped, and Loubar’s face returned.  “What a very pleasant night that was, Tyler.  But then, you wouldn’t know that from firsthand experience, would you.  You’ll just have to take my word for it, especially since Angela will never be able to look at you the same way that she did at me that night.  What a shame that is.  She really is quite something, you know.”  Loubar smiled.  “Time for me to go now.  Think of me every time you look at Angela.”  The screen went blank.

Rollie sat down heavily.  Loubar was right.  Even if Angie had liked the idea that there could be more than friendship between them, those feelings would be dead now, now and forever.  She would never be able to put aside what had happened.  She would never be able to look at Rollie and not remember what Loubar had done while wearing his face.

Feeling numb inside, Rollie went upstairs and began to pack a bag.  He had to leave.  He had to remove himself from Angie’s life.  That was the only way that she could ever find any peace.

After packing enough clothes for a few days, he pulled out the box where he kept the things he valued the most.  Inside, was a cameo that had belonged to his mother, the only thing of hers that he had, an engraved pocket knife that was one of the few birthday presents he had gotten personally from his father, a gold-plated Australia keychain that Manny had given him on the first anniversary of Rollie working for him, newspaper clippings of favorable critics’ reviews of jobs done by Tyler F/X, and the gold pocket watch that had belonged to Leo, which Francis had given back to Rollie after seeing him leave it on the casket.  The Aussie removed these things one by one and carefully wrapped them in tissue paper, then stuck them in the suitcase.  He then turned back to the box and uncovered the last item in it.  It was a photograph of him, Angie, and Manny.  The photo was encased in a frame that Angie had made herself.  She had been eleven years old at the time.  On the frame were the words, “To my best friend in the world.”

Rollie sat and stared at the picture and the frame.  Best friend in the world.  What kind of friend would leave in the middle of the night without any explanation?  What kind of friend would leave her alone after what she had gone through?

Slowly, Rollie unpacked the suitcase, putting everything back in its place.  He then went downstairs to delete all trace of the files that Loubar had sent, but discovered that they had deleted themselves.  Lastly, he removed all evidence of the fact that the computer had been without power.  By the time he was done, he was so exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, that he barely made it up the stairs.  He kicked off his shoes and collapsed on the bed, not even feeling his head hit the pillow as he plummeted into sleep.
 

CHAPTER THREE -- BRINGING COMFORT

His head pounding and his eyes feeling like someone had poured a dump truck load of sand in them, Rollie dragged himself out of bed.  Despite how tired he’d been last night, the nightmares had not left him alone.  The dreams had been the same as the previous night’s--except for one thing, one thing that had made them a hundred times worse than before.  This time, it had not been Loubar who was killing Angie, but Rollie himself.  In the dreams, he had been aware of what he was doing, but had been unable to stop himself, his body being controlled by an unseen force.  Then, as Angie lay dead, Loubar had appeared out of the shadows, laughing maniacally and saying that he had won.  Every time Rollie fell asleep, he’d had the dream, each time a little different, and each time it had sent him screaming up out of sleep.  Utter exhaustion had finally allowed him to sleep dreamlessly for a couple of hours before the alarm clock awoke him.

Swaying slightly, Rollie stumbled to the bathroom.  The shower did little to clear his head.  He got dressed and made a pot of coffee strong enough to overpower a sumo wrestler.  He was staring into the liquid’s black depths when Angie came in.

“Hey, Ro. . . .”  Angie’s voice petered off when she got a look at the Aussie’s face.  He looked about half-dead.  Correction, make that three-quarters dead.  “Rollie, you look terrible!  Didn’t you get any sleep?”

“Some.  I’ll be okay.  The pain from the hole in my stomach that this coffee is making should help keep me awake.”  Rollie tried to sound lighthearted, but failed miserably.

Angie sat down and stared at him.  Enough was enough.  “Okay, Rollie, what’s going on?  And don’t tell me it’s your arm.”

“I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all,” Rollie replied, not looking at her.

“Why?”

The Aussie continued to stare at his coffee for a few seconds, then he looked straight into her eyes.  “I think you know,” he said quietly.

Angie’s chest tightened painfully.  Yes, she knew.  What else would it be?  Angie didn’t know what to say.  Whatever she did say, it would, no doubt, lead to the conversation that she dreaded.  But, looking at Rollie, she knew that she had to say something, even if it did mean having to bring the whole thing out into the open.  She couldn’t let her friend continue torturing himself like this.

The phone rang before she could get a word out.  Cursing silently, she went to answer it.  A couple of minutes later, she returned to Rollie.  “That was Jean Davis.  They had a semi catastrophe at the studio, and the scene we were going to shoot had to be rescheduled.  They won’t be needing us today after all.”

“What happened?”

“Somebody was smoking on the set, and the ashes from his cigarette caught some curtains on fire.  A chunk of the set got barbequed before they got the fire out.”

“Unbelievable,” Rollie said, shaking his head.  “I hope they fired the bloody idiot.”

“Well, they would have, but the bloody idiot is the producer’s brother.”

“Bill Harris’s brother?  I guess genius runs in the family,” the Aussie said sarcastically.  Neither he nor Angie had any great respect for the producer of Double-Edged, who was known for asking the impossible, then expecting it to be done yesterday.  He had a bad reputation for taking stupid and sometimes dangerous shortcuts to save money.  Well, he couldn’t be very pleased with the money that this little fiasco was going to cost.

Rollie got up and rinsed out his cup.  “Well, I guess we could work on the stuff for the alternate universe sequences.  I’ve got a lot of work to do on those body suits, and you could get started on the CGI backgrounds.”

“No,” Angie said.

Surprised, Rollie turned to look at her.  “What?”

“I said no.  Oh, I’ll get to work on the CGI’s, but all you’re going to do is go to bed.”

“Angie, I don’t want to go to bed.  There are things to do.”  The last thing that Rollie wanted was to go to bed and have another one of those nightmares while Angie was here.

“I don’t care,” the blonde said emphatically.  “You need sleep, Rol.  You won’t be able to work if you don’t get some.”

The Aussie stared at her, realizing that he wasn’t going to win this argument unless he came right out and told her the reason why he wasn’t sleeping.  That was something that he didn’t want to do.

“All right, you win.  I’ll go take a nap.  Wake me up in about three hours.”

“Five,” Angie responded firmly.

Rollie stared at her for a moment longer, tempted to argue further.  Then, with a sigh, he headed up the stairs.

Angie watched Rollie go up the stairs, hoping that he would be able to sleep this time.  She felt a little guilty for having delayed their talk, but reasoned that Rollie needed sleep more than anything else.

Angie began working on the CGI’s, but found her thoughts constantly drifting back to Rollie.  She had been avoiding taking a close look at her feelings toward him, afraid to see what was in her own heart.  But now, sitting there in the loft as her friend lay sleeping, she admitted that she couldn’t put it off any longer.  Turning her eyes toward the upstairs living quarters, Angie started thinking about her and Rollie.

She had known him the better part of her life.  Through those years, her feelings toward him went through a lot of changes.  Starting out with a huge crush, things changed to anger and resentment when she realized that Rollie didn’t feel the same way about her.  Those feelings quickly faded when common sense finally told her that he couldn’t possibly feel that way toward her when he was a grown man and she just a child.  After that, she started looking at him more like a big brother.  After her father died and she went to college, the sisterly feelings gradually faded, but the deep friendship remained.  Once she started working for Rollie, that friendship gradually evolved into the teasing, bantering, sometimes irritating, sometimes warm and loving thing that it was now.  But, through it all, she had loved him, through it all, she never considered being without him.  He was a permanent part of her life.

‘What about now, Ange?’ she asked herself.  ‘What do you feel toward him now?’

‘I love him, like I always have,’ she replied.

‘But are you in love with him?  You did go to bed with him.’

‘It wasn’t really Rollie.’

‘No, but you thought it was.  And that really is the whole point of this, isn’t it.  You slept with a man you thought was Rollie Tyler.  And you felt good about it the next morning.  You felt really good.’

She had felt good.  She’d been happy, content--until everything was shattered by the realization that it had all been a horrible deception.

Angie just didn’t know what to think now.  Her feelings were jumbled, unclear.  She only knew that she didn’t want to lose Rollie.

Getting a sudden urge to check on the Aussie, Angie left her workstation and tiptoed upstairs.  She peeked into the bedroom.  Rollie lay on top of the covers of his bed, curled into a ball.  Small whimpering sounds were coming out of his throat.  Angie realized that he was dreaming, and, by the way he looked and sounded, it was not a good dream.

Angie moved closer to the bed, not knowing what she should do.  Rollie desperately needed sleep, but she hated seeing him in the throes of a nightmare.  Gazing down at him, the answer suddenly came to her.

Angie kicked off her shoes and carefully sat on the bed beside Rollie, resting her back against the headboard.  She leaned over and began stroking his hair.  “Shhh.  It’s all right, Rollie.  I’m here.  It’s just a bad dream.  It can’t hurt you,” she said, like a mother comforting her child.

Rollie’s body, which had been moving fitfully, stilled, but he did not relax.  His jaw was still clenched, and his hands were curled into tight fists.  There was a look of anguish and guilt on his face. 

Looking at him, it suddenly dawned on Angie why Rollie hadn’t been sleeping.  He’d been having nightmares, and there was no doubt as to what those nightmares were about.  Moving closer to him, she leaned over until her lips were just inches from his ear.  Still stroking his hair, she finally said the words that she should have spoken that night in Central Park.  “It wasn’t your fault, Rollie.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It wasn’t you who hurt me.  I know that you would never hurt me.  You’re still my best friend, Rol, and you always will be.  Always.”

Rollie mumbled what sounded like her name.  His body slowly relaxed, and the tightness in his jaw eased.  A small sigh escaped his lips.  Angie smiled, knowing that he had heard her.

But then, something happened that ripped the smile from her face.  Still asleep, Rollie abruptly wrapped his arms around her hips and nestled his head in her lap, pressing his body against hers.  Angie’s muscles tensed.  Unmoving, she sat as Rollie slept on, oblivious to what he’d done.  The intimate touch has succeeded in rousing feelings that she had believed, had hoped, she’d overcome.  Memories of Loubar touching her body, making love to her, flooded into her, and, for a few seconds, she had an almost overwhelming desire to leap out of the bed and away from the touch of a man.

The rape counselor who’d talked to her had told her that she should be prepared for feelings of discomfort and even panic attacks if any man got physically close to her.  Things like that were common among rape victims.  It was true that when Rollie first touched her after it happened, she had pulled away from him, but that feeling of discomfort had disappeared quickly.  But now, it was back full force.

Fighting the desire to flee, Angie looked down at Rollie’s face, which now appeared peaceful and happy, and, all at once, the urge to run faded away.  This was Rollie holding her, her best friend, the man she would trust with her life . . . and her heart.  He would never hurt her.  He would never betray her.

A feeling of overwhelming tenderness filled Angie.  Her hand came up and began stroking his hair again, smoothing back the locks that had fallen over his forehead.  This felt good, she realized.  It felt wonderful--and so very right.

Angie sighed contentedly and wrapped an arm about Rollie as she continued stroking his hair.  Her hand then moved down to caress his cheek and jaw.  She found that she wanted to keep holding him like this.  She wanted to continue feeling Rollie’s body laying beside hers.  She wanted to keep feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest moving against her.  She wanted to . . . kiss him.  She wanted to feel the real Rollie Tyler’s lips on hers, feel his hands caress her body.

It was in that moment that her feelings became clear.  She was in love with him.  She was in love with Rollie Tyler.  There was no doubt now, only questions on what this was going to mean for their relationship.  So much had happened in these last few days, things that could have destroyed their friendship.  She didn’t want to lose that friendship.  She would do anything it took to protect it, even if it meant never telling him that she loved him.  Angie decided that she would not tell Rollie about this, not until she was certain that the time was right, not until they’d both had time to put everything behind them.

Angie gazed at the Aussie, really looking at him for the first time in a long time.  She’d been aware of his handsomeness from the day she met him, but she hadn’t really consciously thought about it in years.  She saw his face nearly every day.  She knew every detail, every line, every curve, every blemish.  But now, she found herself looking at him in a new way and realized that his was a face that she could very happily wake up and see beside her every morning for the rest of her life.

Angie ran her finger lightly across the small scar on his cheek, then, on impulse, leaned down and pressed her lips against it.  Rollie mumbled something in his sleep, his arms tightening about her.  She knew that she should get up.  If Rollie awoke, this would be more than a little hard to explain.  But it felt so good just to be like this, held in his arms while he slept.  ‘He’s fast asleep,’ she reasoned.  ‘It’ll be safe to stay just a while longer.’  With a smile, Angie rested her head back against the headboard, her eyes never leaving Rollie’s face.

Angie awoke with a start, realizing in horror that she’d fallen asleep.  Then she became aware of something else.  In her sleep, she had slid down and was now lying flat on the bed.  Rollie, still deeply asleep, was curled around her, his leg lying across her lower thighs, his left arm encircling her waist, and his head pillowed on her chest.

Angie felt her pulse quicken and a flush of heat that had nothing to do with embarrassment course through her body.  Her eyes were drawn to Rollie’s lips as the urge to kiss him became almost more than she could resist.  Fighting the urge, she slowly and carefully extricated herself from the Aussie’s embrace.  He made a small sound of protest, shifted restlessly, then grew quiet.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Angie went to her workstation and just sat in front of it for several minutes until her pulse and temperature had returned to normal.  It was not going to be easy keeping how she felt about Rollie a secret if she had a reaction like that very often.  To say that it had been intense would be an understatement of colossal proportions.  Even now, a part of her wanted to go back to the bedroom, lay down beside Rollie, and wake him up by making passionate love to him.  But another part of her was terrified of what Rollie’s reaction would be, that he would push her away.  And still another part, the darkest part, the part that still bore the wounds of what Loubar had done, cringed from the thought of a man making love to her.  Those wounds were still far too fresh, and Angie realized that, until they’d had time to heal, she would not be able to wholeheartedly give herself to Rollie.

With a sigh, Angie turned her attention to her work and tried not to think about the fact that the man she was in love with was lying in bed only a few yards away.

Rollie awoke slowly, luxuriously, a smile on his face.  He felt calm, happy, and refreshed.  And it was all because of the dream.  It had started out as yet another nightmare, but, for some reason, partway through, he had heard Angie’s gentle voice telling him that what happened wasn’t his fault, that she knew he would never hurt her, and that she would always be his best friend.  In the dream, she had suddenly been beside him, caressing his hair and face, kissing his cheek.  They had lain together, holding each other tenderly as the dark shadows were dispelled by a warm light, as all of Loubar’s evil withered away and died.  It had seemed so real that, even though he was now awake, he still felt the touch of Angie’s body against his.

Rollie looked over at the clock and realized that he’d slept for seven hours.  At the same time, his stomach let him know quite loudly that he'd missed both breakfast and lunch.  He headed downstairs and found Angie in the process of making tea.

“Hey, Love,” he said softly.

Angie started violently, dropping the mug she had been holding.  The empty cup hit the floor with a loud thud, the handle breaking off.  She spun around and stared at him, a flush coming to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”  Rollie stepped closer to her.  “Are you okay?”

“Uh . . . yeah.  You just surprised me, that’s all.”  Angie bent down and retrieved the broken cup.  “Sorry about the mug.”

“At least it wasn’t one of my favorites,” Rollie said with a smile.  The smile faded as he saw that the flush in her cheeks wasn’t going away and that she appeared nervous.  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  Angie turned back to the pot.  “Do you want some tea?”

“Tea sounds great.”  Rollie stared at her back for a moment, then wandered into the lounge area.  “So, did you get lots of work done while I slept the day away?  Oh, and by the way, what happened to you waking me up after five hours?”

“Yes, I did get lots of work done, and you needed the sleep.”  Angie glanced over at him.  “You certainly look better than you did this morning.”

“I feel better, except that now I’m famished.”  He began hunting through the refrigerator for something to eat.

Angie handed him his tea.  “Well, if you think you can fend for yourself, I’ve got some more work to do.”

“I think I can manage.”  Rollie watched her go up to the cleanroom, then he fixed his lunch  As he ate, his mind kept returning to the dream.  Strangely, the feeling of holding Angie in his arms was still very strong.  It was as if it had been real, as if they had actually held each other as they slept, finding strength and comfort in each other’s closeness.  But it had been just a dream.

There had been another time when it hadn’t been a dream, though.  But that had been a long time ago, a time that he didn’t like to think about. . . .

There had been a lot of people there.  Friends from all over the country, and some from other lands as well, had come to pay their respects at the funeral, to say goodbye to Manny Ramirez.  For Angie’s sake, Rollie had tried not to cry, but when it came his time to speak about his friend and mentor, there had been no holding back the tears.  That had been the hardest part, trying to sum up all that Manny had meant to him in a few brief minutes while his heart was quietly breaking.  Angie had stood through it all, silent tears coursing down her face.  They were the first tears she had openly cried since the night it happened.

Rollie knew that she hadn’t been sleeping.  The evidence was written in the perpetual redness in her eyes and the dark smudges beneath them.  Rollie hadn’t slept much either.  Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the explosion that took Manny’s life and the vision of his covered body being carried out of the burned wreckage.  Angie had been spared that last sight.  Rollie had made her go back to the F/X trailer and had posted one of the grips outside the door to keep her there.  He had also spared her the pain of going down to the coroner’s office to collect Manny’s personal effects, those that had survived.  But there was no way that he could have spared her the pain of the funeral.

It was over now.  They had chosen not to have a wake.  Neither Rollie nor Angie had felt as if they could take having a few dozen people talking about all the great moments they’d had with Manny.  Rollie knew that a small group of people were getting together at one of the taverns.  They had encouraged him to join them, but he had refused.

Rollie watched Angie slowly walk up the stairs to the bathroom, her shoulders slumped in grief.

“How’s she doing, Rollie?”

The Aussie turned to look at Leo, who had driven them to and from the funeral.  “I don’t know.  She won’t talk about it.  She won’t talk about anything.  After it happened, I thought she was going to rip Breen’s throat out.  She kept screaming that he’d murdered Manny.  If I hadn’t held her, I think that she would have beaten him to a pulp or at least tried to.”

“So, it wasn’t Angie who gave him the black eye?”

“Uh, no, that was me.  I kind of lost it for a minute.”

“He deserves a lot more than that, if you ask me.  They should press charges against him.”

“They should, but they probably won’t.  Manny wasn’t forced to do the gag.  Probably the most that will happen is that Breen will get fired as the director of the movie.  They’ve had to shut down production while the investigators check everything out.”  Rollie gave a shaky sigh.  “I tried to get Manny to let me do it, but he insisted on doing it himself.  If it had been me, maybe. . . .”  Maybe what?  Maybe he could have somehow escaped the explosion, as unlikely as that was?  Even if he hadn’t, it would have been better for it to have been him.  Then Angie wouldn’t be without a father.

The Aussie looked up to see Leo studying his face.  “How are you doing?” his friend asked.

Rollie turned away, not wanting Leo to see the tears that had come back into his eyes.  “It’s hard.  He was more than my friend and my mentor, Leo.  He was the closest thing I’ve had to a real father since I left the People.  Why is it that everyone I love. . . .”  The Aussie’s voice broke.  A moment later, he felt a strong hand squeeze his shoulder.

“Not everyone you love goes away, Rollie,” Leo said softly.  “You still have a lot of friends who care about you.  You still have me, and you still have Angie.”

“Do I?  I don’t know what she’s going to do.  What if she decides to sell everything and move away, just get away from everyone and everything that reminds her of what happened?  I . . . I don’t know if I could take that.  I can’t lose her, too.”

“You’re not going to lose her, Rollie.  Angie needs you as much as you need her.  She isn’t going to go away.”

Rollie met his friend’s eyes.  “How can you be so sure?”

“Hey, this is Leo McCarthy, remember?  I have terrific instincts,” the New York cop said with a smile.  He gave the Aussie’s shoulder a final squeeze.  “I think it’s time that you and Angie had a long talk--or maybe a long cry.  If you feel like going out and getting crocked, give me a call.”

As the door closed behind his friend, Rollie returned his gaze upstairs.  Deciding that Leo was right, he made his way up the steps.  Angie was lying on her father’s bed, her back turned toward him.  At first, the Aussie thought that she had fallen asleep, then he saw the way that her shoulders were tightly hunched forward.  He made his way to the bed and sat on the edge.

“Ange, I. . . .”  Rollie stopped as everything he had intended to say suddenly seemed all wrong.  How could he sit there and tell her that he understood what she was feeling?  He couldn’t understand what she was feeling.  Though Dingo wasn’t really much of a father, he was still alive, and Rollie still had Mangela, though they hadn’t seen each other in years.  Angie now had no one.  She’d lost both her mother and her father.  How could he tell her that everything was going to be all right?  It wasn’t going to be all right, not for a long, long time.

Feeling that any words he spoke would be inadequate, Rollie finally said what was foremost in his heart.  “Angie, I know that there’s nothing I can say that will make you feel better.  But I . . . I just want you to know that I’m here, sweetie.  I’ll always be here for you whenever you need me.  You’re not alone, Angel.”  Rollie’s voice quavered and fell on the last word.  Wiping away the fresh tears that had spilled down his cheeks, he got up and headed toward the stairs.

“Rollie?”  Angie’s voice was soft and trembling.

The Aussie turned around, and their eyes met.  A tiny sob came from Angie’s throat.  Instantly, Rollie was sitting on the bed beside her, gathering her up into his arms.  Angie wrapped her arms about him tightly as deep, heartbroken sobs welled up out of her.  Rollie held her, finally letting his own tears flow freely.  He began to rock her back and forth, stroking her hair.  He spoke not a word.  Words weren’t what Angie needed.  They weren’t what he needed.  What they both needed at this moment was just to feel each other and know that they weren’t alone.

Rollie sat back against the headboard and held onto his best friend.  It was a long time before she finally stopped crying.  After the last tear had fallen, she continued to cling to him, her face pressed against his chest.  A few minutes later, he heard her breathing deepen and felt her body relax as she fell asleep.  With a sigh, Rollie closed his eyes and followed her into sleep. . . .

Over seven years ago, and he still remembered the peace he’d felt sleeping with her in his arms and how, when he awoke hours later, he had felt so much stronger, like she’d given him back a vital part of himself.  He felt that way now, even though, this time, it had only been a dream.

After cleaning up, Rollie got to work on the alien body suits that would be worn in the alternate reality sequence for the movie.  It had taken him months to come up with a substance that could be molded, textured, and colored to whatever appearance a person wanted to achieve yet was light and could ‘breathe’ so that the person wearing it wouldn’t suffer from the buildup of trapped body heat.  His efforts had been inspired by the complaints of many an actor, not the least of which was Lucinda, who had once declared that a girl could go down two dress sizes while encased in the latex that had been used for years by special effects people to create masks and body suits.

Shortly after he’d completed and tested the new material, someone from one of the bigger F/X companies had tried to buy the formula off him.  Curious about how they’d found out about it so quickly, Rollie had discovered that the company had planted a bug in the F/X van.  Such tactics was something that he had grown accustomed to from the small independent special effects companies, but he hadn’t expected it from the big ones.  Weren’t they making enough money as it was?  Did they have to try and take things from the little guys as well?

Angry, Rollie had decided to lay a little trap for the F/X company.  He refused to sell the formula, making sure that the company’s rep knew exactly how great and in demand the stuff was going to be.  He then made sure that the man ‘overheard’ a little conversation where Rollie mentioned about the formula being on the computer in the van, which, in reality, it wasn’t.  He and Angie then set up a security camera in the van and waited.  Sure enough, the next day, the same guy came back to the studio, broke into the van, and tried to steal the formula.  They got the whole thing on tape, as well as the guy removing the bug that had been planted earlier.  Mira had been there and had happily arrested the guy.  Charges were then filed against the company he worked for.  The company offered to pay Rollie for ‘damages’ if he would drop the charges.  At first, Rollie had refused.  He didn’t want money, he wanted a conviction.  Then a lawyer friend of his had reminded him that there would probably end up being a lot of publicity and media attention if the case went to trial.  Realizing that his friend was right, and not wanting to be hounded by the press, Rollie had agreed to the settlement.  He still didn’t care about the money, but the fact that he’d shown the big boys that they shouldn’t mess with Tyler F/X had brought him more than a little satisfaction.

Rollie had already used a chunk of the money to pay off some bills and buy some new equipment, one of which was the item that sat on his workbench.  The portable holographic projector had cost a mint, but it was half the size of the one they had been using and could easily be transported from location to location.  It would definitely come in handy.

As he worked, Rollie thought about what he was going to get Angie for Christmas.  This year, he wanted to get her something really special.  But what?  Jewelry?  A new dress?  A plane ticket for her next vacation?  Vacation.  It would be nice if they could go on one together.  It had been many years since the last time he’d gone on a real vacation with Angie.  Maybe that’s what he’d do.  Maybe he’d get them tickets to some faraway place that Angie had never been to before where they could just have fun.  Their vacation would have to wait until after they were finished with Double-Edged, of course.

Rollie focused his full attention on the body suits, and, before he knew it, it was dark outside and Angie was coming down the stairs.

“Hey, Rol.  I’ve got some shopping to do to restock my vacant refrigerator, so I’m going to take off.”

“Oh, all right.  Did Jean say what time they needed us tomorrow?”

“Shooting on the flying gag isn’t going to start until eleven, so I guess that we wouldn’t need to be down there until 9:30 or so, right?”

“Yeah.  I’ll see you around nine, then.”

After she’d left, Rollie was again struck by how empty the loft seemed without her in it.  Always before, he'd enjoyed the times he had to himself, but now, being alone brought too many unpleasant things.  Throughout the day, he had managed not to think about the recording Loubar had sent to him, but now that he was alone, the memory of it came back to haunt him.  Loubar had preprogrammed the message to be sent to him, which meant that the man might still be dead.  And if he wasn’t?  What new terrible thing would he do?  The Aussie doubted that he would try a murder frame-up again.  Loubar was not the kind to make the same mistake twice.  He would do something different next time, something worse.  Rollie didn’t have to think about what would be worse.  He knew what the worse thing was that Loubar could do: kill Angie.  That’s all it would take.  If Loubar killed her, Rollie wouldn’t care what happened to him.  The Aussie prayed that Loubar, if he was still alive, never came to realize that.

Not feeling like eating alone in a restaurant, Rollie got a hamburger and took it back to the loft.  As he ate, he thought about him and Angie.  From the day he’d met her, she had found a place in his heart.  Those had been good days.  With the Ramirezes, he’d felt like he finally found someplace where he belonged.  Manny became like a father to him, and Angie was his little sister.  But then, Manny died and everything changed.

He didn’t know when, but somewhere along the way, Rollie had stopped thinking of Angie as a sister.  Had things changed when she went to college?  Or was it when she came to work with him?  He only knew that you don’t get jealous when your sister goes out on a date.  And he did get jealous.  Every time Angie got interested in a man, which really wasn’t very often, Rollie immediately disliked the guy, even if he’d never met him.  There had been that time when Angie went out on the blind date with Lucinda.  She’d looked gorgeous, too gorgeous.  He hadn’t wanted her to look beautiful, even if it was for a blind date with some pretty boy model who would probably turn out to be a shallow, self-centered jerk.  When the date ended up being a disaster, Rollie had been pleased to no end.  Yet another potential boyfriend had bit the dust.

Strange how he’d never really thought about the way he got jealous over Angie before.  He’d never really thought about what having such a feeling meant.  What did it mean?  It couldn’t mean that. . . .  No, that was ridiculous.  He couldn’t possibly be in love with her.  No, the only reason why he got jealous of other guys was because he was afraid that she’d go off and marry one of them and wouldn’t be with him anymore.  That’s all it was.

Rollie spent the rest of the evening working.  He finally called it quits around midnight.  As he got ready for bed, he wondered if the nightmares would leave him alone tonight.  He wondered if he’d have another dream like the one this morning.  Smiling, he hoped that he would.

Angie hadn’t felt like going out to eat, not alone.  Instead, deciding to just spend a quiet evening at home, she got some takeout and a video.  After she got home, she had to laugh about her choice of movies.  She’d gotten “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” a story where a woman realizes too late that she is in love with her best friend.  Angie hoped that things turned out better for her than they did for Julia Roberts in the movie.

Angie had no idea what she was going to do about her relationship with Rollie.  She’d already decided that she was going to keep how she felt about him a secret until they’d both had time to get past what Loubar did, but what about after that?  Could she just keep right on pretending that she wasn’t in love with him, that she didn’t think about making love to him?  What if Rollie got involved with another woman?  Angie had felt moments of jealousy before, but now, she wasn’t sure if she could just stand by and let him be with someone else, not when she ached for him to be with her.

After the movie was over, Angie sat on the couch in her silent apartment and let her thoughts roam freely.  As was bound to happen, her thoughts eventually turned to Victor Loubar.  Was he alive?  If he was, he would be back, and he would try again to get his revenge on Rollie.  What if, the next time, he simply decided to kill him?  That thought brought her such a feeling of pain that Angie immediately tried shoving it out of her mind.  ‘Think about something else, Angie.  Think about how much of a friend Rollie has been to you, how you will never have another friend like him, how he has always been there for you when you needed him the most.’

She had been in a dark, dark place when her father died.  The three days before the funeral had been the worse ones of her life.  She didn’t go anywhere, she didn’t do anything.  All she did was stay at home and let the pain and loneliness eat away at her.  Rollie had come over each day to try and keep her company, but she hadn’t wanted to talk to him.  She hadn’t wanted to lose control in front of him.  She kept her tears to herself, crying only when she was alone.  Every night, she had moved about the loft, frantically cleaning and sorting things, unable to stand the dark silence of the place, unable to bear the thought of sleeping in the home that would never again ring with the sound of her father’s voice.

Then had come the day of the funeral.  As the priest began to speak, Angie had not been able to stop the tears from falling.  They had continued to fall as old friends of her father’s stepped forward to speak about him.  Then, it had been Rollie’s turn.  The grief in his voice and on his face had ripped the hole in her heart even bigger.  It had taken all of her strength not to completely fall apart right there.

She didn’t speak a word to Rollie all the way home or when they got to the loft.  She had felt so alone.  But then, he’d come upstairs and told her that he would always be there for her, that she wasn’t alone. Those simple words had turned everything around.  She had suddenly realized that she still had family, that there was someone who loved her unconditionally and would always be there when she needed him.  Realizing that had allowed her to finally let it all out, all her grief and pain.  She had cried herself to sleep in Rollie’s arms.

Angie smiled as she remembered waking up the following morning. . . .

As Angie rose out of sleep, the first thing that came to her was the incredible feeling of warmth that surrounded her.  It didn’t take her long to realize that the source of the warmth was the body of a fellow human being.  It took her only a second longer to remember who that fellow human being was.

Angie opened her eyes and looked up into Rollie’s face.  He was asleep.  She was lying almost completely on top of him.  His arms were draped about her, holding her gently.  A blush came to her cheeks at the thought that they had slept like that.  This wasn’t the first time that she and Rollie had fallen asleep together.  She remembered it happening a couple of times when she was a child.  But she wasn’t a child anymore.  Her father would have been furious if he’d caught them like this.  That thought brought back full force the realization that her father was no longer alive to be furious about anything.  She began to cry again.

Though she made not a sound, somehow, in his sleep, Rollie must have sensed her distress.  His arms tightened about her, drawing her close against his chest.  One of his hands came up and began to stroke her hair.  Angie buried her face into his shirt and let the tears flow.  A few minutes later, she felt him stir and knew that he was awake.  She wiped away the wetness on her cheeks and looked up at him.

“Hey there, Angel.  How ya doing?” he asked, smiling softly.

Angie gave him a tremulous smile.  Rollie reached up and wiped away the lingering traces of tears on her face, then placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

Angie was surprised to discover that she was.  She hadn’t felt much like eating since her father’s death.

They shared a quiet breakfast together, and, for the first time, Angie began to feel as if she was going to get past this.  As long as she had Rollie, she would never be alone, and she would always have someone who would bring comfort to her when she needed it. . . .

During the weeks that followed, Rollie had been there for her constantly.  He put his own life completely on hold, spending all his free time with her or doing things for her.  He had guessed that she wasn’t sleeping and the reason for it and invited her to stay with him at his apartment every night, sacrificing any hope of a social life for himself.  She owed him a lot for that, and she had never even thanked him for it.

Angie got to thinking about what she was going to get Rollie for Christmas.  She usually got him some new electronic toy, but, this year, she wanted to get him something more personal.  But what?  A sweater?  A new coat?  No, that wasn’t right.  Angie got to thinking about what her friend needed.  Actually, what he really needed was a nice vacation.  It had been way too long since his last one.  The more she thought about it, the more she became convinced that buying Rollie a vacation would be the best present she could give him.  As she continued to think about it, she realized that what would be nicest of all is if they could go somewhere together.  They never shared their vacations, except on a few occasions when they had decided to stay a few extra days after wrapping up a movie in another country.

Smiling, Angie decided that, not only was she going to buy Rollie a vacation, she was going to invite herself along.

She went to bed with the smile still on her face.
 

CHAPTER FOUR -- ATTRACTION

The loft was still dark when Rollie awoke.  Immediately, he became aware that he was not alone in the bed.  He turned to see Angie lying beside him.  She was naked, her body glowing in the moonlight.  Drinking in the beauty of her, Rollie reached for her.  She came into his arms.  That’s when he realized that he, too, was wearing no clothes.  As their bare skin touched, passion flared up in Rollie like a forest fire.  Their lips met, and they consumed each other, like two souls starving for the taste of the other.  Rollie’s hands traveled over her body, touching secret places that he would never have even thought of touching before.  Angie writhed beneath him, begging him for more.  His desire beyond control, Rollie joined with her in the ultimate expression of passion.  Ecstasy filling him, he and Angie made love with a completeness that he had never experienced before, rapture so deep and perfect that it was almost agony.  They rose higher and higher on the waves, until finally reaching the top. . . .

With a start, Rollie awoke.  He was panting, his body drenched in sweat, his heart thundering wildly.  The Aussie’s eyes immediately went to the other side of the bed.  He was alone.  It had been a dream.  Rollie sat up, his cheeks burning from shame.  How could he have had such a dream?  He’d had dreams of making love to women before, but not with Angie, never Angie.  What was wrong with him?  He was ashamed that his subconscious mind would betray his friendship with Angie like that.

‘Who says that it’s a betrayal?’ a part of him whispered. ‘People can be both friends and lovers, and they say that the strongest romantic relationships start out as friendships.’

‘Shut up,’ he told himself.  ‘It’s not like that between us.’

‘Oh, really?  Well, you seemed to be enjoying what you were doing in that dream quite a bit.’

That stopped Rollie’s thoughts in their tracks.  It had been wonderful, the most wonderful thing he’d ever felt.  He’d had relationships with other women, but what he’d experienced with them had been nothing compared to that dream, which made it all the more embarrassing.  He kept wondering if it would really be like that.

“Stop it!” he yelled aloud.  “Just stop it!”  He got up and made his way to the VR chamber, needing something to take his mind off the dream.  He brought up the Australia program.  Sinking into the chair, he let his homeland clear his jumbled thoughts.

Angie awoke with a moan.  Startled, she gazed at the ceiling, breathing heavily, having just experienced the most intensely sexual dream of her life.  She reached out her hand to touch the bed beside her, wishing that he was really there with her.

“Rollie,” she murmured softly.

In all the years she had known him, she’d never had a dream where she made love with him.  It had never been something she’d even seriously thought about.  Oh, she’d wondered what kind of lover he’d be, but it had just been out of curiosity.  She’d never actually thought about what it would be like to make love with him.  Not until that night, the night that changed her life.  Now, everything was different--or at least it was for her.  Funny.  She was the one who had told him that nothing had changed, but maybe it was the other way around.  She now knew that she was in love with Rollie, but it was almost certain that he was not in love with her.  He probably still thought of her as his little sister.

‘And what are you going to do about that, Angie?  Make him fall in love with you?  Seduce him the way that Loubar seduced you?’

The thought of doing that to Rollie made Angie ill.  She was not going to use her feminine wiles on him.  If he couldn’t come to love her the way that she loved him, then she would have to live with that.

Angie’s thoughts went back to the dream.  It had been so amazing, so perfect, like nothing she’d ever felt before.  It made her feel warm just thinking about it.  Would it really be like that?  She hoped that, someday, she would find out.

Angie closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift away in sleep.

Angie got to the loft the next morning half an hour earlier than she needed to.  She’d stopped at the bakery and picked up some croissants, figuring that Rollie probably hadn’t eaten yet.

When she entered the loft, she could tell right away that the Aussie was not up yet.  She glanced upstairs, wondering if she should wake him.  Angie glanced at her watch, knowing that, if she didn’t wake him now, Rollie would have to rush like crazy to be ready in time.

Ascending the stairs to the bedroom, she was surprised to find the bed empty.  She checked the bathroom, but he was not there either.  Where was he?  She looked back at the bed.  The new one that he’d gotten was almost exactly the same as the other one.  If she hadn’t already known what Rollie did, she might not have noticed the difference.  Had the similarities between this bed and the old one been a coincidence or had Rollie deliberately gotten one that looked the same?  She suspected that it was the latter.  Obviously, Rollie didn’t want her to know what he had done.

Angie glanced around, wondering again where Rollie was.  That’s when her eyes fell on the VR Chamber.  She went to it and quietly opened the door.  The beauty of Australia was on the screens, and Rollie sat at the center of it, asleep in the chair.  Angie sat on the floor and just looked at him.  His hair was tousled and his face was relaxed and peaceful.  He looked like a little boy.

As she had yesterday, Angie brushed her lips against Rollie’s cheek, thinking that these stolen kisses might be the only ones she’d ever get.  A gentle smile came to the Aussie’s lips, and he stirred.  Angie drew away from him as his eyes opened.

“Hey there.  Time to get up, lazybones,” she said.

Rollie sat up, groaning as his neck and back popped and cracked from having slept in a chair all night.  “What time is it?”

“It’s going on nine.  You’d better get hopping.”

Angie watched the Aussie head off to the bathroom, puzzled by the look she’d seen for a moment on his face.  As he awoke and saw her, she could have sworn that she’d seen embarrassment there.  The expression had quickly vanished, though.  What would Rollie be embarrassed about?

A short time later, Rollie headed out with Angie, eating the croissants on the way to the studio.  As they negotiated the streets of New York, Rollie had a hard time keeping his mind on his driving.  Instead, it kept going back to the dream.  He tried everything he could not to think about it, but it was pretty hard when the subject of it was sitting just a few feet away from him.  He still felt ashamed that he’d had a dream like that about Angie.  He was even more ashamed that he had liked the dream, liked the way that it made him feel.  Liked?  It had been the most incredible thing he’d ever felt.  He wanted to feel it again.  He wanted to feel that joy and ecstasy every night for the rest of his life.

‘Quit it, Rollie.  It was just a bloody dream,’ he berated himself.  ‘And one that you should never have had.  So just put it out of your mind.’

He was grateful when they got to the studio.  Work would help him keep his mind off things.

As he and Angie rigged the harnesses, Bill Harris came up to them.

“Hey, Rollie.  As you know, yesterday’s accident has our schedule all screwed up.  There isn’t going to be any problem with shooting the alternate universe sequences on Saturday, right?”

“Saturday?!  When did that get moved?”

“Oh, weren’t you told?  We had to rearrange everything, and that was the best place to work it in.”

“Bill, do you have any idea how much work there is that needs to be done for that sequence?  Angie and I worked on some of it yesterday, but there’s still a good three days worth of work left to do, and that’s if we work on it full time.  And now you want it done for day after tomorrow?”

“So, I guess you’ll just have to take some shortcuts and work through the night on Friday,” Bill said, unconcerned.  “You should--”

“No,” Rollie interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“I said no, Bill.  We’ve been through this before on other pictures, and, this time, it’s not going to work.  There is no way that we can be ready by Saturday.  You’re just going to have to reschedule it again.”  Just then, Rollie got an idea.  “When do you have the bridge gag scheduled?”

“A week from tomorrow.”

“Okay, how about switching them?  Except for the extras, the same actors are going to be in both scenes.  I know that the bridge has already been built, and Angie and I could easily get everything else ready by Saturday.”

“Well . . . all right.  I guess that will work.  We’ll do it your way this time, but in the future, I’d like a little more cooperation.”  The producer walked off, most likely on his way to drive someone else insane.

“Rol, if we had really pushed it and gotten some extra help, we could probably have gotten everything done by Saturday for the alternate universe shot,” Angie said.

“Yeah, maybe we could, but it would have been a real killer, Ange, and it would have meant canceling our plans for the party.  I think we deserve to have a few hours of fun, and I wasn’t about to let it be ruined because Bill Harris expects people to jump through flaming hoops for him.”  Rollie smiled broadly.  “Beside, I’m really looking forward to this ‘date’ of ours.”

Angie smiled back, delighted that Rollie was looking forward to the party.  She looked back over at Bill.  “What I can’t understand is why he always seems to be the one who screws around with the schedules on his movies.  He’s the producer.  That’s not his job.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s always been that way with him.  I guess he wants to feel like he’s in control.  Frankly, I wish that he would just step aside and let people who know what they’re doing take over.  One of these days, something catastrophic is going to happen because of people trying to meet his unreasonable demands.”

They had to do three takes on the flying gag before the director w