By Maureen Thayer
 
I thought I’d lost him.  I thought I had lost Rollie.  When I saw those bullets hit him, the blood spraying everywhere, then watched as his body fell over the balcony, it was more than I could take.  I lost it.  I totally lost it.  I’ve never been a woman who went into hysterics, but seeing Rollie ‘die’ sent me over the edge.  If it hadn’t been for Leo, I’d have completely fallen apart.  For those few minutes, I felt as if a part of my heart had been ripped to shreds.

I cannot describe the relief and joy I felt when I looked over the balcony and saw Rollie alive.  It was the most beautiful sight in the world to me.  He had used his genius in special effects yet again and fooled even me this time.  I’d probably get on him for putting such a scare into me if it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t want him to know how much it hurt and how I fell apart when I thought he was dead.  Thanks to Leo’s remark, Rollie already knows that I was a lot less than in control during those moments, but that’s different than if he found out from me what happened.  I don’t know how he would react.  I don’t want him getting all mushy.

I’ve always tried to stay in control, remain cool.  With most things, I succeed, but when it comes to Rollie, my emotions go all over the place.  Sometimes, I get so mad at him.  He can be infuriating.  But other times. . . .  Other times, he’s my best friend.  I just delight in teasing him.  I couldn’t resist calling him studmuffin after Lisa’s blatant attempt to get him into bed.  I mean, could the woman have been any more obvious?  Jeez!  And the way Rollie looked at her.  Men are such idiots.  And then when I found that cup with the lipstick on it at the loft. . . .  No, I was not jealous!  That’s ridiculous.  Why would I be jealous if Rollie got involved with a woman?  I’ve known him since I was a kid.  He’s almost like a big brother to me.  Well, not really, but he is like family, the only family I have.  No, it was not jealousy, it was . . . was. . . .  Okay, I don’t know what it was, but I know it was not jealousy.  End of discussion.

So, Rollie’s name has been cleared, the bad guys have been caught, and we can get back to doing our job.  I really wish that Rollie could stay out of trouble and away from police cases.  He seems to spend as much time working with--or running from--the cops as he spends doing his job.  One of these days, I’m afraid that it will get him killed, like I thought had happened today.

But it didn’t happen today.  Rollie’s a little battered, but he’s going to be fine. I’m going to be fine.  I didn’t lose him.  Thank God.

 
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